One and Done

oneandone2A thought came to mind recently of the term “One and Done”. Knowing that I had heard the term before but unsure of its actual meaning. I proceeded to look it up to find the following; One and Done is the rule effectively mandated that players spend at least one year in college. That High school players who would otherwise have jumped directly into the NBA were required instead to play in college for a year before leaving and entering the draft……….

Although there are many arguments either for or against the rule, I have chosen to delve in a bit deeper on this rule and blog on what most interests me. Of course, if you have an opposing view be sure to share it in the comment section but be kind about it.

Both my work and personal experience with young people leads me to believe that “One and Done” clearly allows time and space for necessary development. That development which has happened physically allows for maturation socially, emotionally, and in cognitive development.

Many would argue that physically these players/individuals already possess the skillset to play professionally and I do agree. However, with the inept ability to manage the social/emotional implications there’s increased risk of – crash and burn. Research shows that an 18 year-old makes far riskier/ impulsive decisions in an attempt to plan and reach a goal. More so than someone in their mid-20s. This is due in part to lack of experience, but primarily to an underdeveloped brain. The brain’s reward system tends to reach a high level of activation during puberty, then gradually drifts back to normal activation when a person reaches roughly the age of 25. This concept, we also see in the actions of the car insurance industry where higher premiums are charged for drivers under 25, who are believed to be immature and inexperience at operating a vehicle and prone to accidents.  

I would also like to interject that sports and insurance are not the only relatable experiences here. Relationships, Careers, Finances, and Spirituality are also relevant. Because we don’t mature in all aspects of life on an even keel, it is common to see someone physically mature and emotionally bankrupt, or spiritually adequate and socially starved. How about in business, where managers are great at managing projects but inadequate at managing people? Somewhere there is a gap and a need for interventions that help bring qualitative balance.

What is even more interesting is that this rule is up for review and there is a likely chance that it will no longer apply come 2020.  If that is the case and the rule does go away, my hope is that that all parties are proactive in developing a culture to lessen the impact of this (new) environment on these young but exemplary athletes.  A culture ready and able to recognize potential problems and provide early interventions that can result in better outcomes.

I end by saying growth is inevitable but balanced growth is not. Although development is a continuous process, it is one that occurs in a series of qualitatively different steps. Therefore, there will always be a need for research, for studies, for subjects and samples to help us as humans to reach our true potential.   

Creating The Life You Want in 2015 ………….

2015NY2It is soon to be 2015 and for many of us with the dawning of a New Year comes the setting of new goals and New Year resolutions. If we are honest with one another, we can admit that a couple of those goals/resolutions are new, a few might even be unrealistic but the majority is carried over un-reached from the previous year.

Convinced that our thought process has much in common with how we approach and reach our goals, I find the following quote by Frank Outlaw most appropriate.

Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.   

Embrace with me for a moment, the idea that everything perceived (positive/negative) in the natural has its origin in the invisible, inner most depth of our thoughts and beliefs. Therefore; when one entertains thoughts of hopelessness or despair their manifested actions of the same will soon follow.

However, entertaining positive thoughts allows us to tackle our goals/resolutions by looking for effective ways in which to reach them. Though it might not be easy, the impact of positive thinking on one’s mental, emotional, and physical health will far outweigh that of negative thinking.

Let me stress that being a positive thinker is not about ignoring reality in favor of aspirational thoughts. However, it is more about taking a proactive approach to your life. I am reminded of Proverbs 23 verse 7a that states “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” As with any change we should begin by recognizing the truth and that truth is “our thoughts create our reality”.

Now let’s be honest, this process of positive thoughts takes practice; and lots of it. Contrary to society’s quick fix for everything, this is not a step-by-step process that you can complete and be done with in an instant. Instead, it involves a lifelong commitment to looking inside oneself and being willing to challenge negative people, thoughts, actions, and habits, then making positive changes for the better. By doing so, we attract into our lives that which we are intended/destined to have.

Whether it is our health, relationships, or financial well-being we must learn to control the nature of our dominant, habitual negative thoughts that then follows a process of habitual manifestation. Here are some tips for creating a better future and as a result reaching those unmet goals;

  • Implement a time for daily prayer/meditation.

  • Regularly – List five things that you are grateful for right now.

  • Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

  • Take time to recharge.

  • Surround yourself with positive people.

  • Smile Often.

  • Avoid Negative Self-Talk.

  • Be tolerant of others progress and of your own progress.

Begin afresh in 2015 by developing a new thought process, one that strives toward elevation and excellence.  One that will keep you on a yearlong path to success and prosperity.

Happy New Year to you and your family, Further more I pray the best for you in all your endeavors.

A Season of Choice – Happy Thanksgiving (Re-posted)

CornucopiaThanksgivingWith this being the season of Thanksgiving, I found it most fitting to share just one thing that I am thankful for.

Although a bit non- traditional, I find myself most thankful for the freedom of choice. Having the freedom to choose has led me on paths far and wide. As the years have gone by, I’ve tried many things in the way of relationships, ministry, business, jobs, education, etc. All of which led me to this moment and the following thought in which I will share with you today.

“In Life Realize” by Janie Williams Brown

By realizing the things In Life that I do not like…..

I have come to realize the things In Life that I do love……..

By realizing the things In Life that only fools try…..

I have come to realize the things In Life that’ll make one cry…..

By realizing the things In Life that I do not want….

I have come to realize that the good things In Life are worth the hunt….

By realizing the things In Life that God foreknew….

I have come to realize the things In Life that I am destined to do…..

This one thing I know to be true and that is that no one is to blame for the mistakes I’ve made along the way. Whether battles won or wars lost, I am the captain of my own choices.

In fact, I used my TaMiM to arrive at my current destination. What is a TaMiM you ask? According to ancient Jewish wisdom it is an affirmation of life which requires use of our God-given capabilities to make choices. Through life’s earnest experiences and the choices made I’ve come to a place of knowing who I am; who’s I am and most importantly appreciating who I have come to be.

Most graciously, I am thankful for this current cycle of choice; my choice to share this post, your choice to read it and the choices that will bring about positive thought and in-turn positive change this Thanksgiving Season.       

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours…..

Tap into the Whole YOU!

Robert Fulghum says it best, “Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day SOME.

When we take the time to break from one aspect of living to equally engage in others (Physical, Emotional, Career, Spiritual, Intellectual, Social), we then begin to tap into balanced living. Although living in balance is not always easy to achieve much less maintain, it can be very rewarding.

balanced living A balanced life is living a life of harmony where all things in life work together to complete the whole you. When your life is in balance, you will  be more healthy, more energetic, happier, motivated, and satisfied.

 Physical

A perfect example and probably one of the most popular in which we lack motivation, is that of the physical aspect of balanced living. Statistics  shows that regular exercise or physical activity helps the body to function better. However, only 30 percent of Americans get leisure-time physical activity.

Spirituality

One Hundred and sixty people were surveyed from different faiths (Protestants, Catholics, Jews, Muslims and Buddhists). The results show that religious experiences such as prayer, meditation, yoga, etc. was significantly linked to better mental health and helped people to better cope with everyday stress.

Intellectual

When it comes to intellect, it is sad to say that for some of us, once we graduate from high school or college our pursuit of/for new knowledge deteriorates. Yes, we may be masters at what we do, but we are not learning anything new. Research clearly shows that education and learning produce favorable changes in the brain.

Social

Socializing, considered a form of mental exercise, provides stimulation for the brain, keeps one sharp, have been associated with lower blood pressure and contributes to longer life expectancies.

Career

When achieving work life balance neglecting your mental well-being, relationships, and health can affect your productivity. Instead plan ahead, give yourself ample time to complete projects, set a work start and cut off time and define clear expectations with others.

Emotional

Improving your emotional health can too, be a rewarding experience. People who are emotionally healthy tend to be in control of their emotions and their behavior. Able to handle life’s challenges, build strong relationships, and recover from setbacks.

 Tap into the Whole YOU!

balance2  A few tips; Remember to Set Priorities. List all your tasks if not daily then on a weekly basis, organize them according to priorities.    When prioritizing, be sure to consider each area (Physical, Emotional, Career, Spiritual, Intellectual, and Social) pertinent to living a    balanced life. Be Flexible. It is pertinent to take a break from routine. Be flexible and adjust your schedules and priorities accordingly.  Mind Your Mind. Subconscious beliefs are known to be self-limiting and self-sabotaging. Purposefully embrace the process of positive  thinking, especially in the areas of behavioral/habit change, wellness and stress reduction. Establish Accountability. Enlist the help of an accountability partner to encourage you along the way.

 My hope in 2014 is that YOU Tap into the Whole YOU!   

The Power of ……Positive

Image

It is soon to be 2014 and for many of us with the dawning of a New Year, comes the setting of new goals and New Years resolutions. If we are honest with one another, we’ll admit that a couple of those goals/resolutions are new, a few might even be unrealistic but the majority are carried over from the previous year.

More convinced than ever before that our thought process has much in common with how we approach and reach our goals, I have decided to post for visual confirmation for 2014, a quote written by Frank Outlaw;

Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Embrace with me for a moment, the idea that everything perceived (positive/negative) in the natural has its origin in the invisible, inner most depth of our thoughts and beliefs. Therefore; when one entertains thoughts of hopelessness or despair their manifested actions of the same will soon follow.

However, entertaining positive thoughts allows us to tackle our goals/resolutions by looking for effective ways in which to reach them. Though it might not be easy, the impact of positive thinking on one’s mental, emotional, and physical health will far outweigh that of negative thinking.

Let me stress that being a positive thinker is not about ignoring reality in favor of aspirational thoughts. However, it is more about taking a proactive approach to your life. I am reminded of Proverbs 23 verse 7a that states “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” As with any change we should begin by recognizing the truth and that truth is “our thoughts create our reality”.

ImageNow let’s be honest, this process of positive thoughts takes practice; and lots of it. Contrary to society’s quick fix for everything, this is not a step-by-step process that you can complete and be done with in an instant. Instead, it involves a lifelong commitment to looking inside oneself and being willing to challenge negative people, thoughts, actions, and habits, then making positive changes for the better. By doing so, we attract into our lives that which we are intended/destined to have.

Whether it is our health, relationships, or financial well-being we must learn to control the nature of our dominant, habitual negative thoughts that then follows a process of habitual manifestation. Here are some tips for creating a better future and as a result reaching those unmet goals;

  •       Implement a time for daily prayer/meditation.

  •       Regularly – List five things that you are grateful for right now.

  •       Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

  •       Take time to recharge.

  •       Surround yourself with positive people.

  •       Smile Often.

  •       Avoid Negative Self-Talk.

  •       Be Tolerant of others progress and of Your Own Progress.

Begin afresh in 2014 by developing a new thought process, one that strives toward elevation and excellence.  One that will keep you on a yearlong path to success and prosperity.

Happy New Year to you and your family, Further more I pray the best for you in all your endeavors.

Self Talk

Jane NOT Doe

change-your-thoughts

According to Burley-Allen (1995) “When we listen to ourselves we can increase our self awareness and begin to understand why we behave the way that we do. Early in life we formulate beliefs that affect how we behave, those beliefs then influence how we talk to ourselves”. (pp. 88)

On this  day, I would like to stress the importance of (negative/positive) self talk. Our internal thought process not only affects the way we behave and the way we feel but it can also be a major contributor to lack of productivity in our lives. When thinking back over my life experiences and how they have affected me, I am reminded of the following scripture and chose it to mediate on this week;

Romans 12:2 NIV
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and prove…

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The Bullies of Life

No-Bullying-circle

I remember some years ago when my mother (God rest her soul) was dying of colorectal cancer and the doctors had informed us that the cancer had spread throughout her body. It was then, that I was rendered mentally and intellectually deficient. Not only did I not know what to do but it seemed like for days, I existed inside a bubble, never really interacting with the outside world.

Although life existed all around me (people, places and things were going on about their daily living) I was at a standstill. My emotions were in turmoil, my thoughts jumbled, my heart was hurting and words escaped me. I myself -was being bullied on this journey called life. The intimidation, the torment, the oppression was too much for me to handle.

It was then that II Corinthians 12:9; “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” helped me tremendously.

Weaknesses are defined as;

  • Not able to resist external forces or withstand attack

  • Mentally and intellectually deficient

  • Resulting in or indicating lack of judgment or discernment

  • Chink in someone’s armor, weak point, limitation, fragility

  • His Strength is defined as;

  • Power to resist force

  • Power of resisting attack

  • One regarded as embodying or affording force or firmness

  • The quality or state of being strong

Gradually His (God’s) peace diminished my anxiety; His words became my hope and the Holy Spirit my Comforter.

Isn’t it funny how the bullies of life in which we hope to avoid, have a way of traveling right down our lane? They work themselves into our daily living so much so that we have no choice but to deal with them head on. Till this day, I have learned that there is no way around them and they won’t just go away. Yes, you have to deal with the bullies of life that come to steal, to kill and to destroy and deal with them you must- Today.

In doing so my friend, keep this one thing in mind – bullies are oh so unkind. But this one thing I know and have the scars of life to show! With Jehovah-Sabaoth, the Lord of Host as your source, no bully in hell or otherwise, can stop your flow!

Blessings to you in all your endeavors as you press through to becoming, the vessel of purpose you were always meant to be. Live on Purpose in 2013! #LEAP

Works Cited
The Holy Bible, New King James Version. (1982). Thomas Nelson, Inc.