Category Archives: Mentoring

One and Done

Posted in Communciation, culture, Empowerment, Mentoring, Parenting, people, Purpose, Sports, Vision, youth by

oneandone2A thought came to mind recently of the term “One and Done”. Knowing that I had heard the term before but unsure of its actual meaning. I proceeded to look it up to find the following; One and Done is the rule effectively mandated that players spend at least one year in college. That High school players who would otherwise have jumped directly into the NBA were required instead to play in college for a year before leaving and entering the draft……….

Although there are many arguments either for or against the rule, I have chosen to delve in a bit deeper on this rule and blog on what most interests me. Of course, if you have an opposing view be sure to share it in the comment section but be kind about it.

Both my work and personal experience with young people leads me to believe that “One and Done” clearly allows time and space for necessary development. That development which has happened physically allows for maturation socially, emotionally, and in cognitive development.

Many would argue that physically these players/individuals already possess the skillset to play professionally and I do agree. However, with the inept ability to manage the social/emotional implications there’s increased risk of – crash and burn. Research shows that an 18 year-old makes far riskier/ impulsive decisions in an attempt to plan and reach a goal. More so than someone in their mid-20s. This is due in part to lack of experience, but primarily to an underdeveloped brain. The brain’s reward system tends to reach a high level of activation during puberty, then gradually drifts back to normal activation when a person reaches roughly the age of 25. This concept, we also see in the actions of the car insurance industry where higher premiums are charged for drivers under 25, who are believed to be immature and inexperience at operating a vehicle and prone to accidents.  

I would also like to interject that sports and insurance are not the only relatable experiences here. Relationships, Careers, Finances, and Spirituality are also relevant. Because we don’t mature in all aspects of life on an even keel, it is common to see someone physically mature and emotionally bankrupt, or spiritually adequate and socially starved. How about in business, where managers are great at managing projects but inadequate at managing people? Somewhere there is a gap and a need for interventions that help bring qualitative balance.

What is even more interesting is that this rule is up for review and there is a likely chance that it will no longer apply come 2020.  If that is the case and the rule does go away, my hope is that that all parties are proactive in developing a culture to lessen the impact of this (new) environment on these young but exemplary athletes.  A culture ready and able to recognize potential problems and provide early interventions that can result in better outcomes.

I end by saying growth is inevitable but balanced growth is not. Although development is a continuous process, it is one that occurs in a series of qualitatively different steps. Therefore, there will always be a need for research, for studies, for subjects and samples to help us as humans to reach our true potential.   

Happy Thanksgiving Day 2017

Posted in Communciation, Empowerment, encouragement, healing, Holidays, Mentoring, Purpose, Quotes, Spirituality, Vision by

Happy Thanksgiving Day 2017 to you as you celebrate with family & friends. I encourage you to give thanks for “Everything” that you have encountered this year, thus far. Whether good or bad, small or large, significant or insignificant. That (everything) has helped to catapult you to the space/place =  splace in which you occupy today. That splace is one of awareness and forced conscientiousness.

If it weren’t so, then you would not have realized the pain that it caused, the joy that you gained, the peace that it ushered or the growth that you’ve experienced…Think about it… selah

Now give thanks for the “Splace” and “Everything” in and of it….. Therefore in all things give Thanks….. Thanksgiving3

The Great Enemy of Creativity

Posted in Communciation, Empowerment, encouragement, healing, Mentoring, Parenting, Purpose, relatioships, Spirituality, Vision by

A Lesson in the Subconcsious Mind and  how to experience true Breakthrough……

Author: Bryan Tracy

All of your habits of thinking and acting is stored in your subconscious mind. It has memorized all your comfort zones and it works to keep you in them.

Your subconscious mind causes you to feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable whenever you attempt to do anything new or different, or to change any of your established patterns of behavior.

You can feel your subconscious pulling you back toward your comfort zone each time you try something new. Even thinking about doing something different from what you’re accustomed to will make you feel tense and uneasy.

Superior men and women are always stretching themselves, pushing themselves out of their comfort zones. They are very aware how quickly the comfort zone, in any area, becomes a rut. They know that complacency is the great enemy of creativity and future possibilities.

For you to grow, to get out of your comfort zone, you have to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable doing new things the first few times. #trynewthings #breakfreefromtheold #shiftingyourparadigm  #LEAP #LifeLessons #loveknowledge

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Anxiety Ann

Posted in Communciation, Empowerment, encouragement, healing, Mentoring, Parenting, Purpose, Quotes, relatioships, Spirituality by

Occasionally when Ann transitioned through life she has encountered a bout with anxiety. Not knowing how to deal with it, left Ann defeated every time. Her period of transition would leave her feeling exasperated, depressed and sometimes suicidal. Until one day her encounter with a co-worker who had experienced the same symptoms helped to set her free. Free indeed it was for Ann, she felt as if the hands that tightened around her throat at the first sign of change, finally loosen. Anxiety was her body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that went off when she realized that certain occurrences were outside of her range of understanding and control. Ann felt like she was losing her grip on life and all that was familiar to her, so she fought change at work, at home, in relationships and sometimes even in and of her own necessary character flaws.

frontcoverpreview-doCharles Spurgeon said, “Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength”. Imagine fighting against yourself…or within yourself, mindboggling to say the least. This is what Ann was experiencing. Not having enough information to dictate, control or to anticipate her outcome led to Ann’s anxiety.

Read more about Ann and 11 other women who “Mastered the Art of their Emotions” in order to transition successfully. Your shift in thought, mindset, and lifestyle awaits…….  ~Janie

Five Tips for Vision Casting

5 TIPS FOR VISION CASTING

Question: What does vision mean to you? Does it mean how you see, as in 20/20 eyesight? Where are you going?

Answer: vision is the catalyst for determining the right direction. Rather than just a dream or a far-reaching, unattainable goal, vision is a realistic picture of what you want to create and the impact of that effort. It’s also a reflection of your values, why your vision exists and what it will become in the future.

If a vision is to be attained, it must be shared by everyone pertinent to the vision.

Equip them with the purpose to achieve it, the effort will not be enough.

That vision could be something quite grand and inspiring or might be something as simple as a quarterly goal.

BROADCAST LOUD AND CLEAR

Details are not necessary, but clearly identifying and communicating that vision to others is.

Not only is establishing your vision the first step, it’s also the most important function for achieving it.

Announce your intentions, create a destination that is challenging yet realistic, and a set timeline for achieving it.

INVOLVE  OTHERS……

While you have a firm understanding of what your vision is, allow others to give feedback, help shape the process and fully develop it. Doing this provides a sense of ownership for everyone involved, thereby increasing their desire to help your vision become realized. Make your vision theirs…….

ADD MEANING…..

Vision gives significance to the otherwise meaningless details of our lives.

Incorporate the benefits of using your product or area of expertise with your vision to achieve the greater good.

MAKE IT PERSONAL……

A broad vision captures the big picture, it takes the combined efforts of many different individuals to realize it, therefore; increasing productivity and efficiency.

KEEP  THE  GOAL  ALWAYS  IN-SIGHT…..

Distractions and setbacks are bound to happen. To prevent them from thwarting your efforts, remind yourself of the vision on a regular basis.

Encourage positive steps taken in the right direction and recognize individuals for making them.

Source: Bible Habakkuk 2:2-4 – – “Write The Vision, And Make It Plain Upon Tables”……..

SEE JANE RUN – I AM BEAUTIFUL

Posted in Communciation, Empowerment, encouragement, healing, Mentoring, Parenting, Purpose, Quotes, relatioships, Spirituality, youth by

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The following is an excerpt from chapter 7 of my book “See Jane Run” Encouraging Mother Daughter Communication. 

Purchase: https://www.createspace.com/5776362

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Although beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, the feeling of being beautiful exists solely in the mind of the beheld.  ~Martha Beck

SEE JANE RUN – I AM BEAUTIFUL

At one time or another every young lady feels as if she is not beautiful.   I met with these unkind thoughts early on in my childhood. Unsure of why I was so insecure at the time, I often played over and over in my mind (the thoughts of comparison) how my nose was too big, my lips were too full and my body type too skinny. I remember specifically thinking that one of my best friends was clearly prettier than I was because she was a lighter skin African American. I felt as if the boys liked her better and that I was not as desirable because I was of a darker skin tone. I wish that I could say that I eventually got over this negative perception of self while I was yet a little girl, but it wasn’t until I was a young adult that my thought process began to change. I had taken a job in my career field and was leaving my office one day. I remember an older gentlemen walking toward me in the parking lot and, as he approached me, he stopped to say, “You are such a beautiful young lady.” Those seven words from a stranger that day lifted my spirits a world over. They brought a smile to my face and, most importantly, helped to change the weight of the perception I had held over the years.

Now, I have no problem saying to myself and believing it, “I am Beautiful,” because in the mind of the beheld (my mind) my perception, my self-worth and self-esteem are much higher.  I have learned to accept my differences, whether they’re in skin tone, facial features or body shape, and appreciate them as unique, and uniquely me. 

Mothers – encourage your daughters to embrace their “uniqueness” and leverage its power in life.  

Daughters – Be Uniquely YOU!

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Passion & Purpose Beyond Trauma

Posted in Communciation, Empowerment, encouragement, healing, Mentoring, Purpose, Vision by

trauma23It is true that we all have a natural resistance to processing trauma. In fact it’s probably one of the main roadblocks in our path to recovery and reaching our life’s purpose . It is obvious why we deny, and dissociate from the trauma: the memories cause us pain and discomfort. But ultimately these past pains must be integrated into our consciousness if we are to mend the wounds in our sense of self.

Quote: There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

It is important for us as individuals to understand the impact that Trauma has on our own personal belief systems.

  1. How we perceive the trauma (wound)

  2. How we ultimately react to the trauma (wounding)

(ˌtrauma/)

Defined (noun) – an event in which a person witnesses or experiences a threat to his /her own life or physical safety or that of others and experiences fear, terror or helplessness. Trauma is derived from the Greek word wound.

Common negative beliefs associated with big-T trauma:

“I should have done something.” “I am powerless.” “I can’t protect myself.” “I am in danger.” “I am weak.”

Common negative beliefs associated with little-t trauma:

“I am insignificant.”  “I am a failure.” “I am unlovable.” “I can’t trust anyone.” “I am broken.” “I don’t deserve to be happy.”

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Exercise: Take a few minutes and define trauma or share what you think it means to you. Trauma vary widely and the variety shows that trauma means different things to different people. Some of the more common answers include;

  • A horrible experience that changes your perception

  • An event that exceeds one’s ability to cope

  • Being stuck in some past state due to shock/horror

  • When the past holds you hostage, making you feel like you have no choices

  • A life threatening or ego-threatening event

  • Not being able to move through a bad episode from the past

List one or two areas in which you /have experienced trauma?

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In fact, you may feel the effects of these traumas for many years, even for the rest of your life. Sometimes you don’t even notice effects right after the trauma happens. Years later you may begin having thoughts, nightmares, and other disturbing symptoms. You may develop these symptoms and not even remember the traumatic thing or things that once happened to you.

Now is the time not only to identify the Trauma (small or large) but most importantly to evict it from further hindering you from pursuing your core passion/purpose in life., , Three defining steps in which to take when  evicting Trauma from your life forever;

  1. Re-Define your role from that of Victim to that of Victor….

  2. Re-write your story not in the form of intrusive symptoms but rather as an Overcomer.

  3. Re-Integrate by not just making that commitment but by taking steps to move forward in life with this NEW reality and NEW life narrative.

Once you have Re-Defined, Re-Written and Re-Integrated into your NEW reality and NEW life, you will find that Passion and Purpose truly does exist beyond Trauma.